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“Thank You, Sir. May I Have Another?”

An Excerpt from: All Customers are Irrational: Understanding What They Think, What They Feel, and What Keeps Them Coming Back
By Bill Cusick
Available in stores and online July 2009.

Like many business people, I carry a Blackberry (no iphone yet) around with me to stay in the loop by phone and email and, to some extent, instant and text messaging. (My employees and my wife sometimes get irritated when I shut it off so that I’m NOT connected, but that’s a different book.) A few months ago, my Blackberry Pearl started going batty, screen flickering, track-ing ball inoperable, suddenly shutting off. I wandered into a T-Mobile cellular store and the employee helpfully pulled the battery out and put it back in. “Seriously?” I wondered. That’s the solution? I had done this myself several times already, of course.

Several days and several store visits, software patches, and a new battery later, I was officially defeated. Striding to the counter I pronounced my device the sufferer of a terminal disease. A replacement was therefore required. The customer service employee—let’s call him Biff to be clear it’s a fictitious name—grimaced as he perused the screen of his computer. “Your warranty on this was up two weeks ago,” he said, shaking his head and feigning sympathy.

I felt my ire rising. “So you can’t replace it?” I asked. “We’ve been paying you guys a hefty monthly fee for this corporate account.” This was true.

Biff shrugged. “You’re going to have to buy a new one.” He waved his hand, both dismissing me and indicating the assorted phones arrayed throughout the store. I wandered over to the newer version of my model (same phone, but now in different colors!). The tag stated a price of $99. I shrugged and moved back to the counter.

“I guess I’ll go with the Blackberry Pearl,” I said, pointing at the phone that was identical to the one I was throwing away, except in blue.

“That will be $349,” Biff muttered.

I winced. “But,” I stammered. “The tag says $99.”

“That’s if you are a new customer and sign up for a T-Mobile contract.” “But I already have a T-Mobile contract,” I whimpered. “That’s why I’m here and not at AT&T buying an Apple iPhone. Don’t you see? I’m trapped.”

Biff stared blankly at me. “The price would go down if you extend your contract.”

I closed my eyes and tried to think of a happy place. “Let me get this straight. If I was just some Joe Smith wandering in off the street and signed up with T-Mobile, I would get the phone for $99. Since I’m a long-term customer, who has several people on a corporate account that’s locked in for the next two years, and we’ve bought numerous phones from you, and the phone you sold me crapped out, I have to pay a premium price.”

Biff shrugged and nodded. If he saw the irony, he wasn’t letting on.

Of course, I really had no choice. I added a year to my contract to knock about a hundred bucks off the new Pearl price tag and went limping on my way, with my severely injured sense of justice and a conviction that someday I was going to tell a lot of people about my experience. I guess now I can check that off my list.

Like most cell phone companies, if T-Mobile would just do the math, they would realize that by pumping all of their significant marketing and promotion dollars into new customer acquisition, they are shooting their collective selves in the collective foot. Isn’t it better, when you think about it, to spend a few dollars (say $30 to $40) to create a rewarding, emotional connection with a solid, profitable customer than to spend over five or even ten times that to lock down the next Joe who wanders in off the street?

Bill Cusick is CEO of Vox, Inc., a customer experience research and consulting firm. Contact him through the feedback form on our Contact Us page.

All Customers are Irrational: Understanding What They Think, What They Feel, and What Keeps Them Coming Back
© 2009 William J. Cusick
All rights reserved.
Published by AMACOM Books
www.amacombooks.org
A Division of the American Management Association
Available in stores and online July 2009.

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